Coronavirus presents us with different challenges that we have not experienced before (personal, health and social challenges) and that threats the lives of the couples and love relationships in general.
First, this pandemic puts us in confrontation with ourselves, so we are forced to stay for long hours at home to avoid mixing, which leads many to desperate confrontation with their negative thoughts, negative feelings, painful memories of the past, problems of the present and challenges of the future.
On the other hand, this pandemic puts us in confrontation with the partner, and statistics have shown an increase in divorce cases.
In various parts of the world due to the inability of the two partners to absorb stress, but instead, drowning in a spiral of blame and criticism of the other one, and focus on all the weaknesses in the relation.
Certainly the coronavirus puts our emotional life in front of a watershed test, and for every challenge there is a response, either negative or positive.
Negative reactions are represented by an increase in domestic violence, along with the rates of abandonment and divorce.
On the other hand, positive reactions to this challenge are characterized by a rapid adaptation and focus on the strengths and positive sides of the relationship.
And here comes the question:
What are the main problems facing the two partners under one roof?
1- Fear, stress, material and existential pressures.
2- Responsibilities of work and children and the forced father and mother to stay with their children for a long and unusual period for them.
3- the difference in the perception of the existential danger resulting from the pandemic, so we see a partner for example in a state of fear and panic, while the other is in a state of relaxation and indifference, which causes a conflict within the house.
4- The sexual desire of both partners is affected by the stress caused by the virus and blaming each other instead of searching for relaxation and anti-stress methods.
5- Failure to enjoy a personal space for each partner, which causes more suffocation and emotional responses.
6- The difference between a man’s brain and a woman’s brain, a man can sit for long hours without doing anything, and by doing so, he imposes responsibility of the home and the children on his partner, which causes more collision.
As for how to transform this challenge into a positive space for the growth and prosperity of the relationship?
1- Divide the responsibilities between both partners and create a routine regarding daily chores to avoid putting pressure on only one of the partners.
2- A constructive and calm dialogue is the most important key to solving many problems, besides knowing the expectations of each partner.
3- The two partners know that any verbal quarrel or difference of viewpoints doesn’t mean a lack of love and doesn’t lead to a failure of marriage.
4- Respect the sexual desire of the other partner.
5- Knowing the language of love that the partner prefers and dealing with him/her accordingly. It should be noted that the 5 languages of love are (1-sexual relationship and touch, 2-quality time, 3-gifts, 4-verbal expression and repetition of the word “I love you”, 5-sacrifice)
6- Daily hugs for 3 minutes that stimulate the oxytocin hormone, or the love hormone, and increase familial and emotional bonds.
7- Avoid listening to news bulletins, avoid criticism, blame the partner and respect differences of opinion.
8- A man should talk about three positive qualities that his partner enjoys, and a woman should be clear about what she wants and needs.
Finally, yes, we can make the home quarantine period a constructive space for partners to flourish, and the most important condition remains that we love ourselves in the first place because the partner’s love stems from self-love and reconciliation with it!